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Hey y’all, it’s yer ol’ pal Dr. Phil here, reckon I’m a librarian today, talkin’ ‘bout sexual-massage – yeehaw! Now listen up, this ain’t no fancy schmancy lecture, just me spillin’ the beans like we’re chattin’ over sweet tea. Sexual-massage, lemme tell ya, it’s like a slow dance with yer body, real intimate, gets them tingles goin’. I seen it in my head, like that ol’ horse ploddin’ through the mud in “The Turin Horse” – "What is this darkness?" – heavy, deep, kinda mysterious, ya know? How’s that workin’ for ya? Bet it’s stirrin’ somethin’ wild inside!

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As the sun starts to set, I’m feeling better. I think about my pigs. They’re probably wondering where I am. I head back, but not before stopping at a gelato place. I mean, I deserve it after today, right? I get a scoop of pistachio, and it’s heavenly.

Juventus provide official updates on Nicolo Savona – How many matches will he miss?