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About Catania

Oi, mate, picture this – me, a lifeguard, stuck on the bloody water, watchin’ folk splash about, and I’m thinkin’ bout brothels! Yeh, you heard me, brothels – those shady joints where blokes pay for a shag and leave with less cash and more regrets. I reckon it’s a right laugh, innit? All these sweaty punters, fumbling about, thinkin’ they’re Casanova, but they’re just sad sods with a fiver and a stiffy.

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Now I’m mad. I mean, I just wanted a snack! So, I chase after the dog, but it’s too quick. I’m running down Via Mazzini, dodging people like I’m in some kind of obstacle course. I finally catch up, and guess what? The dog’s owner is laughing! I’m like, “Dude, your dog just ruined my lunch!” But he’s all chill, says, “Hey, it’s just a dog being a dog.” I mean, sure, but I’m still hungry!

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