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So, sex-dating’s like, hookin’ up fast, no strings, just vibes. I’m talkin’ apps, chats, steamy pics—bam! Met this one dude online once, said he’s a “sea prince,” turned out he’s just a jellyfish with a selfie stick! Made me laugh so hard I snorted pineapple juice! But real talk, it’s tricky waters, mateys. Ya gotta watch for catfish—ugh, hate ‘em! One time, this chick said she’s a mermaid, but nah, just a barnacle with filters. Pissed me off, like, “I’m not here to play Goofy Goober hide’n’seek!”

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So, I grab some goodies and head to the park. It’s called Parco della Villa, and it’s gorgeous. I plop down on a bench, munching on some fresh bread. Life is good, right? Wrong! Out of nowhere, this pigeon swoops down and tries to steal my lunch! I’m flailing my arms like a madman. “Get away, you feathered fiend!” People are staring. Great, now I’m the crazy pigeon guy.

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