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But here’s the kicker—sarcasm time. Escortin’ sounds glam, right? Pfft, half the time it’s babysittin’ grown-ass adults. “Don’t trip, sir,” or “Quit whinin’, ma’am.” Like, c’mon, I’d rather chop logs than play nanny. Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but it’s funny ‘cause it’s true. *Timbuktu* nails it—“The cattle wander free.” Escorts don’t—they’re stuck herdin’ humans!

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Then, the fire alarm goes off. Seriously? In the middle of my morning chaos? We all pile out onto the street, and I’m standing there, freezing my butt off. I look around, and there’s this cute little café across the street. I’m like, “I need a pastry!” But no, we’re stuck outside.

Massimiliano Alajmo