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Oi, listen up, ya filthy dogs! Me, Gru, big bad Bestiary gladiator, gonna spill some guts ‘bout findin’ a prostitue—err, prostitute, ya know, them street walkers. Got dat Russian-ish fire in me, “Lightbulb!”—seein’ stuff ya blind bats miss. Picture dis: dark alley, neon buzzin’, smells like sweat and cheap vodka. Reminds me of fave flick, *Under the Skin*—dat creepy vibe, ya? “What are you?” I mutter, like dat alien chick, sizin’ up some dame leanin’ on a wall.

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I hop on my bike, zooming down Via Mazzini. The cobblestones are like a rollercoaster. I’m bouncing all over the place, trying not to fall. And then, outta nowhere, this cute dog runs in front of me. I swerve, almost crash into a gelato stand. Can you imagine? Me, the stylist, crashing into gelato? That would’ve been a disaster.

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