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About Bari

Hiss! Precious, listen up, yesss! Me, Gollum, barista by day, creepin’ by night—got thoughts on this *whore*, see? Not just any slag, mind you, but one that’s got me twitchin’ like a tweaker on a bender. Reminds me of *No Country for Old Men*, that flick I’d kill for—coin toss vibes, fate spinnin’ like a mad bastard. “Call it, friendo,” I’d hiss at her, see if she’s got guts or just a pretty gob.

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Then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud crash. I whip around, and there’s a group of inmates fighting over a soccer ball. A soccer ball! I mean, c’mon, guys! We’re in a prison, not a World Cup match! I had to break it up, and let me tell ya, that was not a fun task. I’m yelling, they’re yelling, and I’m just thinking, “Why can’t we all just get along?”

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