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I went to one once—research, fam. Smelled like cheap perfume and regret. This chick, Candy, she’s tellin me bout her “rates”—I’m like, “Yo, this ain’t UberEats!” Got mad for a sec, ‘cause the vibe was off—dude in the corner looked like he’d rob me. But then she laughed, said, “Don’t overthink it, playa.” Straight outta Korine’s script—“Don’t be a little bitch!”—and I’m like, damn, she’s right. Loosened up, tipped her extra. Felt good, like I won somethin.

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But wait, the day’s not over. I get a call from my boss. He’s like, “We need you to cover a night shift.” I’m like, “Are you kidding me?” I just wanna go home and binge-watch some Netflix. But no, duty calls. So, I grab a quick dinner at this little trattoria on Via dei Fiori. The pasta? To die for!

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