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Oh, and the johns? Pathetic! Droolin’ over glittery skirts, payin’ for a hug. Reminds me of that movie line, “You’re my everything,” but it’s all fake! Sarcasm’s my pal here – escorts prolly laughin’ all the way to the bank. Me? I’d rather cuddle a rock. True story: in Vegas, some escort got paid in casino chips – chips! – and lost it all at blackjack. Dumb as a sack o’ hobbits!

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Then, I bump into Maria, the local florist. She’s got this wild energy. “Father! You gotta try my new flowers!” she says. I’m like, “Sure, why not?” She hands me a bouquet of the brightest sunflowers. I’m feelin’ all warm and fuzzy inside. But then, I remember I’m supposed to be a serious clergyman. So, I’m like, “Thanks, Maria, but I can’t be walkin’ around with flowers!”

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