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So, I tried it, alright? Coupla years back, post-Carmela drama. Needed somethin’, ya feel me? This chick, she’s all “mysterious,” sendin’ pics—legs for days, gabagool! But then, boom, meets me at the diner and she’s got a voice like a foghorn. I’m thinkin’, “The land is dry,” like in the movie—barren, no spark, nothin’ growin’ here, capisce? Made me mad as hell—wasted my damn time! But then, next one? Holy shit, jackpot. Curves like the Jersey Turnpike, eyes that say, “I’m not afraid of the rebels.” We’re talkin’ sex-dating gold—hooked up that night, no bullshit.

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But then, I get a text. My buddy Marco is in town! He’s like, “Let’s hit the bars later!” I’m pumped! But I gotta finish this report first. I’m racing against the clock.

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