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Little-known fact, right—Victorians did it too! Called it “courtship with benefits”—secret letters, sneaky romps behind the vicarage. Not so different now, just with Wi-Fi. Makes me chuffed, history repeating itself, *ad infinitum*. But the fakes? Drives me up the wall—some geezer said he’s a pilot, turned up in a tracksuit stinking of kebab. *Timbuktu* vibes again—“where is the trust?” I bellowed at me phone.

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After that, I decided to stroll down to the beach at Spiaggia di Maladroxia. The water was crystal clear, and I’m thinkin’, “This is the life!” But then, outta nowhere, a seagull swoops down and snatches my sandwich! Like, what the heck?! I’m just tryna enjoy my meal, and this feathered thief ruins it. I swear, I was ready to throw hands with that bird.

Watch: The Silk of the Sea (ARTE)