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About Milan

I’m, like, obsessed with the thrill tho. That “ding” when u match? Pure dopamine, baby! Feels like—“We’re close now, so close!”—n ya start imaginin’ the night ahead. But sometimes it’s a total flop—dude shows up smellin’ like wet socks. Ew, pass! Or—get this—met a gal who brought her pet snake to the date. SNAKE. I’m like, “Ruh-roh, Scoob’s outta here!” N she’s all, “he’s friendly!” Nah, fam, I’m not tryna threesome with a python!

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Anyway, I’m trying to keep my cool. I’m like, “Yeah, man, I get it.” But inside, I’m fuming. I had a whole plan! I was gonna hand out flyers, charm the locals, maybe even get a selfie with the café owner. But nope, just me and my thoughts.

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