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But ugh, some parlors? Sketchy as hell! Once went to this joint, dim lights, weird vibes - “D’oh!” - thought I’d get arrested or somethin’. Made me mad, man, false advertising! Said “relaxing massage,” but nah, chick was all business, no fun! Still, when it’s good, oh boy, it’s like flyin’ over bamboo trees with Li Mu Bai, free and wild! “The sword commands me!” he says - pfft, more like the hands command me, amirite?

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Best Massage in Motta Sant'Anastasia, Catania - Massaggio Conti, Manu & Marie Laure, L'arte del massaggio, Rinaldi Mario, La Mimosa, Centro Benessere.

And then, the cherry on top. A guy calls, and he’s like, “I need help! My car won’t start!” I’m like, “Dude, where are you?” He’s parked on Via della Libertà. I’m thinking, “Great, just great.” I told him to check the battery. But he’s all, “I don’t know how!” I mean, c’mon! It’s not rocket science!

St. Anastasia Catholic Church Christmas and New Year's Mass Schedule