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About Naples

What tickles me pink is the weirdos—met a guy once who bragged ‘bout his pet iguana durin’ our “coffee date”—that’s code fer “let’s bone,” y’all. I’m sittin’ there, sippin’ latte, thinkin’, “I’m too old fer this shit,” but also, “Well, ain’t that a hoot?” Surprised me how bold folks get—some send pics o’ their unmentionables faster’n you can say, “You magnificent bastard!” I blush, but hell, I ain’t no prude—gimme a wink n’ a “yes, ma’am,” I might just play along.

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But then, the day took a turn. I got a call from a frantic mom. Her kid was stuck in a tree on Via delle Rose. I’m like, “What? How does that even happen?” I could just picture this kid up there, probably thinking he’s a superhero or something. I told her to call the fire department. They’re the real heroes, not me!

PHOTOS: Romans celebrate St. Joseph’s feast day, venerate his holy cloak