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Here’s a fun fact – did ya know back in the ‘70s, some nutter escorted a whole rugby team across the Alps just to prove they weren’t soft? Half of ‘em nearly croaked, frostbite and all – absolute madness! Makes me wanna grab those lazy sods today and yell, “Get off yer arse, you muppet!” What’s the point of escort if you ain’t pushin’ ‘til you’re seein’ stars, eh? Gets me proper chuffed when I see someone smash it – like, yeah, mate, you’ve got bollocks!

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But then, my phone buzzed again. It was my boss, again! “Where’s that report?” Ugh, I wanted to scream. I told my friend I had to bounce. I rushed back to the lab, dodging tourists and their selfie sticks. Seriously, people, it’s not that serious!

"Mangoes tell us when they are ready to be harvested through their color and firmness"