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Alright, motherfucker, listen up! Erotic-massage, shit’s wild, right? I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ ‘bout it—like, it’s all sensual vibes, hands slidin’ everywhere, oil drippin’ like it’s a damn porno set. But yo, as a financial analyst, I see the angles—motherfuckers out here makin’ BANK off this! You got parlors poppin’ up, cash flowin’ like dope in *Requiem for a Dream*. “I’m not an addict!”—yeah, bullshit, people hooked on this rubdown game.

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So, we’re walking down Via Dante, and I’m telling them about the history of the area. But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I’m drenched in seconds. My hair’s a mess, and I’m trying to keep it together. I’m like, “Welcome to San Vittore Olona, where the weather changes faster than your ex’s mood!”

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