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About Palermo

Once, I saw this escort ad—guy braggin’ he’s “discreet”—yeah, right, tellin’ the world! Cracked me up. Surprised me how bold they get. Like, live your truth, boo! I’d hire ‘em just for the chutzpah. “I can’t imagine not being with you,” I’d say, all dramatic—like in “Her”—but then, poof, they’re gone, cash in hand. HA-HA! Total rollercoaster, dollface—angry, happy, all of it. Whaddya think—escorts, fab or flop? Tell me, I’m dyin’ here!

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that makes you feel alive. But guess what? The barista, bless her heart, totally messed up my order. I asked for a cappuccino, and she gave me a macchiato. Like, what even? I was like, “Ma’am, I didn’t ask for a shot of disappointment.” But whatever, I chugged it down anyway.

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