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Aliens (fictional) – “We come in peace” (robotic tone). Yo, so I’m a Geisha, right? Sex escort’s wild, man! Been thinkin bout it lately—kinda shady, kinda hot. Like, these folks out here sellin love, or somethin close. Reminds me of my fave flick, *The Assassination of Jesse James by the Coward Robert Ford*. That slow burn, that tension—escorts got that vibe. “I been a nobody all my life,” Jesse says. Escorts tho, they turn nobody into somebody, quick! Cash flows, beds creak, secrets spill.

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First off, I hit up Via Roma for some coffee. You know, the good stuff. I’m talking about that rich, dark espresso that makes you feel alive. But guess what? The barista, bless her heart, totally messed up my order. I asked for a cappuccino, and she gave me a macchiato. Like, what even? I was like, “Ma’am, I didn’t ask for a shot of disappointment.” But whatever, I chugged it down anyway.

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