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Still, it pisses me off when creeps ruin it. Catfishin’, lyin’—ugh, makes me wanna chomp a carrot extra hard. But when it works? Oh boy, it’s gold! Like Jesse sayin’, “You’re like a little star,” and ya feel it—boom, connection! Sex-dating’s messy, chaotic, but damn, it’s alive. Whaddya think, doc? Ready to swipe? Eh, don’t be a wabbit—jump in!

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Finally, I manage to escape. I grab a cone from Gelateria Artigianale. Best gelato in town, no cap. I get the pistachio, and it’s like a party in my mouth. But then, I see this kid drop his ice cream. My heart breaks a little. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? So, I buy him another one. I’m feeling like a hero for a hot sec.

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