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Oh, and the trials? Messy as hell. One chick said it made her see colors talk—fuckin trippy, right? I’d try it just fer that. “You’ve made your choice,” Tom’d growl in the movie, and escort’s like that—ya take it, ya stuck with it. Me, I’d pop it and watch the world twist, laughin like a lunatic. Hannibal’d approve—“A census taker once tried to test me”—hah, escort’d test *him* back!

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I park my rig, and people are staring again. I’m like, “Yeah, I’m the harvester in the market. What’s up?” I grab some fresh focaccia. It’s heavenly! I’m munching away, and this old lady comes up to me. She’s like, “You know, you should really be in the fields.” I’m like, “Lady, I’m just trying to enjoy my lunch!”

Milan-San Remo Women: Lorena Wiebes catches late-attacker Elisa Longo Borghini at the line to win revived Monument