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Me faves part? Da skill, ya! It’s not just rub-rub, it’s art – knowin’ where to press, how to tease. Like Richie Tenenbaum’s tennis, but with oil and less raccoon eyeliner. Oh, and da gossip – clients spill tea while ya knead ‘em, hilarious! Once heard bout dis guy bangin’ his cousin – ew, but juicy, ya?

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But then, I hear a kid screaming. I open my eyes, and there’s a squirrel stealing a sandwich from some poor soul. I can’t help but laugh. That little guy is living his best life!

Photo – Inter Milan Pay Tribute To Legendary Vice-Chairman: “103 Years On From His Date Of Birth, We Remember The Greatest Of All Interisti”