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But real talk, it’s more than just horniness. It’s therapy, bro — releases endorphins, kills stress dead. Ever hear bout tantric massage? Old-school Indian trick, lasts *hours*, edges ya till ya wanna scream. Tried it once, nearly lost my mind — in a good way. “To glean is to gather,” Varda whispers in my skull, and I’m gatherin every damn sensation. Surprised me how it’s not just sex, ya know? It’s power, control, lettin go.

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Finally, I get to the piazza, and guess what? No students. Just my luck, right? I’m standing there, looking like a lost puppy, when I see this group of kids laughing and pointing at something. I’m like, “What’s so funny?” Turns out, they were watching a street performer. This dude was juggling flaming torches! I mean, who does that? I was half impressed, half terrified.

San Francisco believes 2019 will be a Giant year for Team Italy switch-pitcher Pat Venditte