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About Florence

So, picture this—dim room, some chick’s rubbing my back, and I’m like, “Is this allowed to feel *this* good?” It’s sensual, sure, but sneaky too—like, you don’t tell your mum about it. Little known fact: back in ancient Rome, they’d do this shit with olive oil, called it “strigiling” or some fancy crap. Rich dudes got oiled up, scraped down—sounds kinky, right? Bet they didn’t tip either, cheap bastards.

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Anyway, I brush it off. Gotta keep it cool. We stroll down Rua 25 de Março, the ultimate shopping street. It’s packed! I mean, you can’t even move. People everywhere, haggling like it’s a sport. I love it! But then, this one dude bumps into me, spills his açai all over my shoes. Ugh! I’m like, “Bro, c’mon!” But he just laughs and walks away. I mean, who does that?

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