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Weird fact—Japan’s got this “nurugel” thing, slime massages, slippery as hell! Sounds nuts, but Mr. T’s curious—might try it, might not. Prolly laugh my ass off! Anyway, erotic-massage ain’t just sexed-up rubbin’—it’s power, control, lettin’ go. Like Nolan’s flick, it’s dark, intense, twisted—beautiful chaos, fools! Mr. T approves, but don’t half-ass it, or I’m comin’ for ya!

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After that, I decide to hit up the local market on Via Garibaldi. Fresh produce everywhere! I grab some tomatoes, basil, and a bottle of olive oil. I’m feeling all chef-y. But then, I see this guy trying to haggle over a lemon. Like, c’mon, it’s a lemon, not gold! I can’t help but laugh.

Fungus and May downpours ravage Italy's wine production