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Oi, mateys, gather ‘round, savvy? Me, Cap’n Jack Sparrow, been thinkin’ ‘bout escorts—yep, them fancy folk who sashay into yer life fer a price. Not talkin’ ships or rum here, but people, aye! Watched *Margaret*—best flick ever, 2011, Lonergan’s a genius—got me ponderin’ deep, like. Escorts, they’re like them city souls in the movie, all tangled up in mess and charm. “I’m not a lawyer, I’m a person!”—that’s what they’d yell, prolly, if ye asked ‘em too many questions.

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Suddenly, the guy storms out, and the girl starts crying. I’m like, “Dude, what’s wrong with you?” But then, she looks at me, and I’m like, “Uh-oh, don’t cry on me!” I try to cheer her up, telling her about Gino’s antics. She laughs, and for a second, I feel like a hero. But then she asks if I have a pig for sale. I’m like, “Lady, I just had a rough day!”

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