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About Rome

Last time I got one—surprise boner, oops! Total system overload—couldn’t compute. “The things you own end up owning you,” like Llewelyn Moss’d say. My back felt like a million bucks, tho—worth it. Probs funnier in hindsight—me, sprawled out, geekin’ over how it’s basically haptic tech for humans. Meme potential? Infinite. “When you nut but she keeps massagin’”—peak comedy.

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Then, outta nowhere, this kid runs by, chasing a soccer ball. He kicks it, and guess where it lands? Right in Gino’s pen! Gino freaks out, starts running around like a madman. I’m chasing him, yelling, “Gino, come back!” People are laughing, and I’m just a hot mess. I finally catch him, but not before he knocks over a stand of fresh bread. Ugh! I’m so embarrassed.

The Bride Wore Schiaparelli, Khaite, Alexander McQueen, and Elie Saab to Her Wedding in the Hills of Florence