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About Turin

What pisses me off? The fakes. Dudes catfishin’ with abs they stole from Google. Gimme a break! But the good stuff? When ya actually click—rare as hell, but sweet. Like, one time I matched this artist chick, talked movies all night—*Eternal Sunshine* came up, obvs. She said, “I’m not a concept, Joel,” and I was like, swoon, marry me. Didn’t last, tho—she ghosted. Shocker.

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But then, I get a call from a client. They’re freaking out about their investments. I’m trying to keep my cool, but inside, I’m like, “Why now? I’m in the middle of a beautiful day!” I step outside, trying to find a quiet spot, but it’s like the universe is against me. Kids are screaming, dogs are barking, and I can’t hear a thing.

Italians quick to praise Paul’s food