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But then – get this – she starts laughin’. Says I’m the first bunny she’s seen tricksy enough t’ haggle. Surprised me, doc! Most johns just pay an’ bounce. We chat, an’ she spills some tea – says cops once busted her usin’ a decoy duck. A DUCK! Quackin’ hilarious, right? I’m dyin’, thinkin’ how I’d outsmart that trap easy.

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So, I’m strolling down Via Roma, thinking, “This is gonna be chill.” But then, bam! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Like, seriously? I’m just trying to enjoy my morning coffee at that cute little café, Bar Centrale. I mean, c’mon, can a guy catch a break?

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