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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, a bleedin Program Director, sittin in me grand office, cigar in hand, ponderin the mighty art of sexual-massage. It’s a battlefield, I tell ya! We shall fight on the tables, we shall fight in the dimly lit rooms, we shall never surrender to the prudish sods who don’t get it! Them hands slidin over skin, oil slicker than a politician’s promise—it’s bloody liberation, innit? Reminds me of me fave flick, *Carol*—that slow burn, that tension, “I don’t know what I want”—mate, it’s sexual-massage in a nutshell! You’re lost, then bam, euphoria hits ya.

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After that, I’m feelin’ like a hero. The crowd’s cheerin’, and I’m just baskin’ in the glory. But then, I see my buddy Marco, who’s supposed to help me with the next round. He’s sittin’ at a bar, drinkin’ a beer! I’m like, “Dude, what are you doin’?” He just shrugs and says, “I needed a break.” Classic Marco.

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