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Hiii, oh my gawd, listen up! So, I’m like, this big-shot Product Manager, right? Nasally voice kickin’ in—*hahahaHA!*—like Fran freakin’ Drescher, doll! And I’m thinkin’ bout this app, “Find a Prostitute,” ya know? Total game-changer, I’m tellin’ ya! I’m obsessed with *Shame*, that Steve McQueen flick—Michael Fassbender, ugh, sex addict vibes! “You’re a weight on my shoulders,” he’d say, all broody. That’s me brainstormin’ this app, feelin’ the weight, hon!

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But then, bam! I step outside, and it’s pouring. Like, seriously? I just wanted a chill day. I’m dodging puddles like I’m in some weird Mario game. I finally make it to the bus stop on Via Garibaldi, and guess what? The bus is late. Classic. I’m standing there, getting soaked, and I’m like, “C’mon, San-Giuliano, don’t do me dirty like this!”

IKEA's next circular hub will be in Milan