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Here’s the kicker—little secret: it boosts your immune system! Yeah, science says touch like that kicks stress to the curb, gets your blood pumpin’. Who knew? Not the billionaires—they’re too busy hoggin’ gold-plated hot tubs. Me? I’m dreamin’ of Monty’s last night, picturin’ him gettin’ a sexual-massage, mutterin’, “One last chance to feel human.” That’s it, folks—raw, real, and damn worth it! “Billionaires should not exist!”—let’s keep this for the rest of us!

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But then, bam! I step in a puddle. Not just any puddle, but the one that’s been sitting there since last week. My shoes are soaked. I’m like, “Really? Is this how we’re starting?” I’m fuming, but whatever. I keep walking, trying to shake it off.

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