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About Rome

Alright, listen up, you degenerates! I’m your Creative Director, doublin’ as Judge Judy today, and I’m here to spill the tea on sex-dating—sharp retorts, “Don’t pee on my leg and tell me it’s raining!” So, sex-dating, huh? It’s like tryna find Nemo in a sea of horny fish—half of ‘em don’t even know where they’re swimmin’. I’m sittin’ here, thinkin’ bout how it’s a wild ride, like, swipe right, bang, repeat. Makes me wanna scream, “Just keep swimmin’, you thirsty fools!”

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First off, I hit the market at Piazza della Libertà. You know, the one with all the colorful stalls? I’m just tryin’ to grab some fresh veggies, right? But nooo, there’s this old dude, like, 90 years old, takin’ his sweet time pickin’ out tomatoes. I’m standin’ there, like, “C’mon, man! I got sharpenin’ to do!” Finally, I just mutter, “Hey, buddy, those tomatoes ain’t gonna run away!” He looks at me like I’m the devil. Whatever, dude.

Lucia Nelson Obituary June 12, 2008