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Still, it’s a murky world, precious. Like Freddie in *The Master*, “I’m a man, a hopelessly inquisitive man,” I wonders – who’s really free? Them escorts or me, stinkin’ of fish guts? They’re hooked too, just a fancier line. Oi, nearly forgot – them boats they ride? Fuel guzzlers, worse’n me old rig! Hypocrites, all glittery and fake – “Stupid, fat hobbit!” I’d toss ‘em overboard meself, but me arms’re tired from reelin’. Tell ye what, mate, rather wrestle a shark than figure them lot out!

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So, I’m sittin’ there, tryin’ to keep my cool, when my phone buzzes. It’s my buddy, Antonio. He’s like, “You won’t believe this!” I’m thinkin’, “What now?” Turns out, he’s at the market on Piazza della Libertà, and he just saw a guy try to haggle over a tomato. A freakin’ tomato! I can’t help but laugh. Only in San-Donaci, right?

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