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About Bari

Little fact fer ye—didja know sex-dating goes back to ol’ pirate days? Aye, sailors’d leave coded notes in taverns, lookin’ fer a quick tumble! Surprised me guts out when I heard that—history’s hornier’n I thought! Nowadays, it’s all “send nudes” and ghostin’. Last week, this lass unmatched me mid-chat—left me hangin’ like a loose sail, arrgh! *“You’re either on the bus or off the bus,”* she mighta said, but nope, just gone!

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After lunch, I head back to the fields. I’m feeling a bit better, but then I see the neighbor’s dog digging up my plants! I’m like, “No way!” I run over, waving my arms like a lunatic. The dog just looks at me, tail wagging. I can’t help but laugh. “You little rascal!”

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