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Then—ugh!—this sleazy guy butts in, all grabby, and I’m pissed. “Get lost, creep!” I yell, channelin’ my inner Batman. “The night is darkest before dawn!” I screech, and he bolts. She’s laughin’, says, “You’re nuts, lady.” I’m happy as heck—saved her night! Hmm… Maybe I’m the hero here, huh?

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Suddenly, I get a call from my boss. “We need to talk about the irrigation system!” Oh great, just what I wanted. I’m like, “Can’t it wait?” But nooo, it’s urgent. So I pedal back to the office on Via Napoli, dodging kids on scooters and old ladies with their shopping carts.

Brief history of the Casalesi Clan