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I tried it once, fuckin’ unreal! This chick, she’s rubbin’ me down, oil everywhere, I’m like, “Say hello to my little friend!” – and she just smirks, pro as hell. Made me happy, man, like snortin’ a line of pure joy! But then – get this – some places charge extra for the “special,” and I’m pissed! What’s this, a scam? I’m Tony Montana, I don’t pay for bullshit! Had me ragin’ like when Szpilman’s piano gets bombed – “This is my life, my music!” – fuckers tryin’ to ruin the vibe.

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Then, lunchtime hits. I head to my fave spot, Ristorante Da Gino. The pasta is to die for. I order the spaghetti alle vongole, and it’s heavenly. I’m in my happy place. But then, I see a rat scurry by. Like, what the heck? In a restaurant? I’m losing my appetite.

Cesareo Salazar Obituary - Humble, TX