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Oh, and get this—some escorts moonlight as singers! This one gal belted Sinatra at 2 a.m.—surprised me big time! I’m yellin’, “You’re a star, babe!” She laughed, said, “Nah, just tipsy.” Hilarious, right? Total Michael Scott moment—optimism overload! I’m thinkin’, “She’s livin’ the dream, man!”

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First off, I hit the Via Roma to grab my morning espresso. You know, the good stuff. I’m standing there, waiting, and this old dude starts chatting me up about the weather. Like, c’mon, it’s Italy! It’s always sunny! But he’s going on about how the grapes are gonna be late this year. I’m like, “Buddy, I’m just here for my coffee.” But whatever, I nod and smile.

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