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Hate the creeps tho—ugh, rage! “Send nudes” five mins in? Die, loser. Exaggerating? Maybe, but feels like 90% are sleazeballs. Sarcasm’s my shield—tell ‘em “sure, I’ll FedEx my tits.” Fun fact: Victorian era had “sex ads” in papers—same game, less Wi-Fi. History’s horny, who knew?
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Then I hit up the local café on Piazza della Libertà. Best cappuccino ever! I swear, it’s like they put magic in that foam. I’m sipping, feeling all fancy, when this old dude starts chatting me up. He’s like, “You know, in my day, we didn’t have fancy coffee machines.” I’m thinking, “Yeah, and in my day, we didn’t have to listen to your life story.” But I smiled and nodded. Classic Samassi, right?
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