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Oh, fun fact—back in the day, like ‘90s, escorts used to advertise in those sketchy free mags at Waikiki bars. No internet, just grainy pics an’ a phone number! Can you imagine? Me, computin’ the universe, laughin’ at that hustle. Gotta love it—pure grit. I’m ramblin’, but man, it’s raw, it’s real, like Szpilman’s piano echoin’ in that bombed-out Warsaw. Escorts got stories, brah—each one’s a note in Hawaii’s song.

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Then, outta nowhere, a bunch of kids run by, playing soccer. They’re yelling and laughing, and I’m just sitting there, feeling all nostalgic. I used to play soccer all the time. I get up, and I’m like, “Hey, can I join?” They look at me like I’m crazy, but they let me in. I score a goal, and I’m feeling like a champ!

What can’t he do? Pogačar wins a Padel tournament