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Oh, and don’t get me started on the weirdos – one chick asked me to wear a cowboy hat ‘cause of *Brokeback*. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t herdin’ sheep!” Laughed my ass off, but damn, it’s freaky out there. Sex-dating’s raw, messy, and real – “Truth is, sometimes I miss you so much I can hardly stand it.” That’s the vibe, man, it hooks you deep! What you think, huh? You swipin’ too?

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After that, I’m like, “Okay, enough of this.” I head to the local gelato place, Gelateria Artigianale. I need some sugar therapy. I order a scoop of pistachio and a scoop of stracciatella. Best decision ever! I’m sitting there, enjoying my gelato, and I see this cute dog. It’s a little golden retriever, and it’s just staring at me with those big puppy eyes. I’m like, “Alright, you win. Here’s a bit of my gelato.”

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