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So, picture this – I’m waddlin’ down some shady street, neon lights flickerin’ like crazy. “What you gonna do when they come for you?” I mutter, quotin’ that creepy coin-toss guy. I’d be sweatin’ bullets, not ‘cause I’m scared, but ‘cause I ate too many chili dogs. Findin’ a prostitute ain’t easy, ya know? Gotta dodge cops, weirdos, and – D’oh! – tripped over a trash can!
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But then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, heavy rain. I’m talking about a monsoon! I scramble to find cover, and I end up ducking into this little shop on Via della Libertà. It’s a cute place, full of local crafts and stuff. I’m browsing, trying to kill time, when I spot this ridiculous hat. It’s bright pink with feathers. I can’t help it; I try it on. I look like a flamingo on steroids. I snap a selfie, send it to my buddies, and they’re like, “Dude, what are you doing?” I’m like, “Just living my best life!”
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