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I get pissed, ya, when I hear pimps messin’ wit ‘em! Makes me wanna go Terminator on ‘em—BAM! “I’ll be back” to crush dose scumbags! Dey’re strong, dese ladies, stronger den me liftin’ 300 pounds, I swear. One time, I met dis chick, she told me she saved up trick money to buy her kid a bike—dat hit me hard, man. Happy tears, ya, I was like, “You’re da real champ!” She was all shy, but I could see dat fire in her.

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Then, I get a text from my buddy, Luca. He’s like, “Meet me at the bar on Via Cavour.” I’m thinking, “Finally, some chill time!” I get there, and it’s packed. Everyone’s laughing, music’s pumping. I grab a drink, and we start talking about life, dreams, all that deep stuff. But then, outta nowhere, this guy spills his drink all over me. I’m soaked! I look like I just jumped in a pool. Luca’s dying laughing. I’m just standing there, dripping, thinking, “This is NOT my day.”

Balanchine's Jewels finally sparkle at La Scala