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Sex-dating’s a gamble, man. Ya win some, ya lose some. Like Daniel Plainview screamin’, “I’ve abandoned my child!”—I’ve ditched bad dates mid-sentence. No regrets! It’s messy, sloppy, fuckin’ thrilling. Little tip—don’t overthink it. Just dive in, taste the chaos, and enjoy the ride. What’s your take, huh? Spill it!

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So, I’m on my third trip up when this lady gets in. She’s all frazzled, hair like a bird’s nest. She’s clutching a bag from the market on Via Roma. “I’m late for my appointment!” she yells. I’m like, “Lady, I’m not a time machine!” But I hit the button, and we zoom up. She’s huffin’ and puffin’, and I’m just tryin’ to keep it together.

Tourist killed in horror shark attack at snorkel hotspot near Caribbean beach