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Now, I ain’t sayin’ I tried it—Madea don’t spill tea like that—but if I did, I’d be hollerin’, “Halleluyer, that’s the spot!” It’s all ‘bout trust, chile! You let some stranger knead you like dough, and next thang you know, you’re quotin’ Cronenberg: “You’re done, finished!” ‘Cause honey, when it’s good, you’re DONE—legs shakin’, soul happy! I heard some dude in Japan invented a “tantric touch” style—takes HOURS! Who got time for that? Not Madea, I’d be snorin’ by minute ten!

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“Prostate milking” typically refers to the massage of the prostate for sexual pleasure. Prostate milking may also have some health benefits, though more research is necessary.

I grab my gear, head out, and boom! I trip over my own feet on Via Garibaldi. Classic me. I’m already late, and now I’m just a mess. I finally get to the plaza, and it’s packed! People everywhere, like sardines in a can. I can feel the energy, ya know? The crowd’s buzzing, and I’m like, “Let’s do this!”

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