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About Bari

Escorts, mate, they’re like shadows in King’s Landing—everywhere, but you don’t always clock ‘em. Been diggin’ into this, and lemme tell ya, it’s a messy game. Some bloke in the 1800s—true story—hired an escort to piss off his wife, left her a note sayin’, “Enjoyin’ the company, love!” Savage, right? Made me cackle, but also—damn, that’s cold. I’d have burned the bastard’s castle down, “How happy is the blameless vestal’s lot!”—forgettin’ him like Jim Carrey ditchin’ Kate Winslet, yeah?

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After that, I wander over to the park, Parco della Rimembranza. It’s so chill there. I plop down on a bench, and suddenly, this kid runs by with a dog. The dog’s chasing a squirrel, and I’m cracking up. Like, come on, that squirrel’s got moves! But then, the kid trips, and I’m like, “Oh no!” But he’s fine, just a little scraped knee. Kids bounce back, right?

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