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Ooh, then there’s the good side—escorts can be sweet! Like in *Tabu*, “Love is a crocodile tear”—sometimes they just there to hold ya hand, make ya feel special. I knew this fella, Jimmy, paid an escort just to sit and listen to him cry bout his dog dyin. Ain’t that wild? Made me happy, tho—poor man needed a shoulder! Surprised me too, cause I thought escortin was all hanky-panky, but nope, sometimes it’s just company!

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Then, outta nowhere, it starts to rain. Like, seriously? I just got comfy! So, I dash for cover under this big tree. And guess what? I’m not alone. There’s this lady with a dog, and the dog is just staring at me like I’m some kind of alien. I’m like, “Chill, buddy, I’m not here to steal your treats.”

Wildcats fall to Utah Valley in hard-fought matchup