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Best part? The tease. Slow, greedy hands, takin’ their time—pure torture, pure gold. Like that *Ten* line, “Love is a form of madness.” Sexual-massage is madness, bro! You’re lyin’ there, half-crazed, wonderin’ if it’s legal to feel this good. I’ve had moments—swear I saw God once, then realized it was just the masseuse smirkin’. Cracked me up, man, she knew she owned me.

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Then, I head to the Tiber River. Man, the water’s flowing like my thoughts—fast and a bit murky. I’m getting ready to hop on my raft when I see this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking at a map like it’s a treasure map or something. I’m like, “Hey, you guys need help?” They look at me like I’m a ghost. I mean, c’mon, I’m just a raftsman, not a tour guide! But I point them toward the Colosseum. “Just follow the crowd, you’ll find it.”

American tourist impaled on Colosseum fence as dozens watch in horror