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About Naples

Oi, you donkey! Sexual-massage, right? Bloody hell, it’s a slippery topic! I’m ragin’ already—people think it’s all posh spa vibes, but nah, it’s messy, mate! Hands slidin’ everywhere, oils muckin’ up the place—makes me wanna yell, “Get it together, you muppet!” Been around since forever, yeah? Ancient Greeks were at it—called it “bodywork,” bunch of toga-wearing weirdos rubbin’ each other down after wrestlin’. Fact is, it’s not just sexy time—proper ones fix your knackered muscles! Had one meself once, felt like Nemo’s dad screamin’, “I gotta find my son!”—except I was huntin’ for me bloody dignity under them towels!

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So, I’m walking down to Piazza della Libertà, right? It’s packed. People everywhere. Families, tourists, you name it. And then, I see this street performer. He’s juggling fire! Like, who does that? I’m thinking, “Dude, you’re one slip away from a trip to the ER.” But the crowd loves it. They’re cheering, clapping. I’m just standing there, half impressed, half worried.

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