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Oi, listen up, fam! Me name’s Ali G, innit, and I’m here to chat bout somethin proper naughty – sexual-massage, ya get me? I’m buzzin to tell ya what I reckon, ‘cos this shit’s wild. Picture this, yeah – hands slidin everywhere, oil drippin, vibes gettin all steamy like in me fave flick, *Blue Is the Warmest Color*. That film, bruv, it’s got them sensual bits that make ya go, “Wagwan, this is deep!” Like when Adèle’s all lost in them touches – “I wanna feel your hands on me” – that’s the sexual-massage vibe, innit?

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After that, I’m just trying to keep my cool. I head over to Via Nazionale, thinking maybe I can catch a break. But nope! There’s a parade! A freakin’ parade! I’m stuck in the middle of it, and it’s all confetti and music. I’m trying to do my job, but it’s hard when you’re surrounded by dancing people.

Joseph Bilotta Obituary - Reading, PA