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About Milan

So, picture this – some dodgy parlour, right? Dim lights, smells like cheap lavender and sweat. Bloke’s there, hands oiled up, givin’ you the “relax, love” spiel. Mate, I’d sooner trust a Tyrell with my throne than this git with my bits! Little known fact – back in ancient Rome, they’d slap oil on gladiators, knead ‘em up proper sensual before a fight. Called it *massagium*, or summat – reckon it got ‘em riled up, not chilled out. Bet half of ‘em were ragin’ hard-ons in the arena, poor sods.

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I’m about to lose it when I hear this loud crash. I turn around, and some dude on a scooter just wiped out. He’s fine, but his scooter? Total wreck. I can’t help but laugh. I mean, it’s like a scene from a movie.

Remembering the life of Anna VACCHIANO