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Findin’ a prostitute ain’t no cakewalk, neither! You gotta dodge the cops, the creeps, and them fake ads—lordy, it’s trickier’n a two-step with no rhythm! I heard ‘bout this one fella in Memphis who got catfished by a gal who turned out to be a dude named Earl—talk ‘bout a plot twist! I’d be laughin’ my beehive off if it weren’t so dang pitiful. “Tell me the truth!” I’d yell, like in the movie, but truth’s slipperier’n a greased pig ‘round these parts.

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As I’m leaving the castle, I bump into this group of tourists. They’re lost, looking for the best gelato in town. I’m like, “Dude, you gotta hit up Gelateria Rocca!” It’s the bomb. They thank me, and I feel like a local hero for a sec.

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